Resistance to Positive Change

 There are many ways to resist making a positive change. I feel like I might be an expert on all of them. 

At 8 a.m. today it was already 80 degrees. I thought about the walk I had planned on taking this afternoon and checked the weather. When I saw today’s high temperature at 95 degrees, I was not disappointed, but relieved.  Because the last thing I wanted to do was actually take a walk. And yet, at the same time it is probably the one thing I need to do most.  I know this because of my tight muscles, tense jaw, and somewhat sour attitude.  A little fresh air, sunshine, and blood flow would do me good. 

I am learning that resistance is often a good compass.  The thing you want to do the least is often the thing you must do most.  I am not talking about anything unhealthy or illegal here, just in terms of the things we know that we “should” be doing and yet, are not.  It strikes me odd that if we needed something, why would we avoid it so much?  It reminds me of that paradox of nausea and dehydration. The more you vomit, the more dehydrated you get, which in turn makes you more nauseated. Or the fact that when you are at your most dehydrated, you no longer will feel thirsty.  And if you are about to freeze to death, you will feel hot and overheated to the point of shedding clothes despite standing barefoot on a frozen tundra. This whole “resistance to what you most need” schtick is garbage, but it’s what we are stuck with.

So, there are things that we really, really do not want to do, despite their payoff, whether immediate, or more common, delayed.  We hate it when we start doing it.  But as the minutes tick by we begin to enjoy whatever it is we are doing, or at the very least, it stops sucking so bad.  And then, at the conclusion, we are so happily convinced by the exercise, healthy meal, etc. that we want to make it a habit. We might even wonder what took us so long.

But tomorrow, at about the same time as today, when it is time to walk or eat that balanced breakfast or whatever else is nagging at you, you will meet with the same resistance as today. 

They say it takes 21 days to make a habit and maybe if you do the new thing consistently for 21 days it won’t be met with such opposition each time you confront it.  I know this to be true from other habits I’ve adopted and now do without thinking about.

Something I find helpful in embracing resistance and doing the thing anyway, is finding one aspect that you find enjoyable and that will make you a little more excited about doing it. The only rule is that you don’t get to feel bad if that aspect seems silly.  For example, one of the ways I motivate myself to walk is to think about the sights I will see.  I like seeing how the neighborhood is, look at different landscaping designs, and outside décor.  We live in a suburb that made keeping nature alive a priority. We have many different types of trees, parks, and areas to observe the local wildlife.  If the thought of this doesn’t motivate me, I go to my old standby-PokemonGo.  I definitely need to hatch some eggs and as anyone who plays PokemonGo knows, walking is the only way to do that.  It may seem silly, but it works.  And if it works, it works.  Identifying what I do like about whatever it is I’m resisting doing has been helpful. 

So, whatever that thing is that you’re resisting, see if you can find one aspect of it that is enjoyable, an area to zero in on. Something cool happens when you focus on that positive aspect.  Inspiration starts to take hold and the energy rut you felt chained to loosens its grip.

But I’m still not taking a walk in 95-degree heat.