Gratitude and Striving

 “Be happy with what you have, while working for what you want.”-Helen Keller

Every June as the sun shines hotter and brighter and my air conditioning bill increases by the same measure, I find myself relishing autumn and winter scenes.  Each year, I swear that I will appreciate and savor the cooler temperatures, the tastes, and smells and all the wonderful coziness that these seasons will bring.

Isn’t that always the way? I write my best odes to winter during summer. I missed my office during the COVID-19 quarantine more than I ever thought I would pre-pandemic. There’s that old adage: You never know how much you love someone or something until it is gone.  And that’s all well and fine but what if you’d rather love and enjoy it while you’ve got it?  How do you set up that habitual awareness and mindfulness to not lose sight of the good stuff? 

It’s a balancing act: trying to accept what comes with grace and gratitude while not losing the drive to steer your life where you want to be.  In a world where you are told you can be, do, or have anything, right away, and personalized, immediately, being content eludes us.

What can be done? Recognize that when we are striving, we are usually future-focused and thinking of actions and steps along the way to wherever we want to end up, and while it isn’t that we aren’t grateful during these times, but more that we are distracted from gratitude during these periods in our life.   This is okay in the short term. But the trick of it is to not get so far removed and unacquainted with the present that you forget to stop and take stock of what you’ve got.

Gratitude gets mentioned to death because it is important an important key to happiness:

Giving Thanks Can Make You Happier (Harvard Health Publishing, 2021) 

The Science of Gratitude (Pratt, 2022)

Gratitude is a Key to Happiness: 4 Reasons Why (Brower, 2021)

 Striving and gratitude usually reside on opposite ends of the spectrum for many of us.  But just as you don’t want to get so future-focused that you lose sight of today’s gifts, you also don’t want to lose your passion and zest for the future and what it holds.

Contrary to what you might think, striving is also a key to happiness.  Striving means having something to grow towards or a goal to keep us excited and engaged in life.  We have a brighter future.  We feel more alive, happier, and loving. 

Maybe, with enough practice we will be able to embody both the striving and the appreciation of the now in one sitting.  But in my personal experience, you will swing between the states.  Misery tends to increase if you stay stuck on any one side for too long.

I think of it like rowing a canoe across a lake. To row you use both oars or alternate sides you stroke on.  Why?  Because it keeps you going straight. If there is an imbalance between the rowing, you end up going in a circle. 

Some very organized and efficient individuals have daily practices that support the separate rowing of striving and appreciating.  Some visualize success on a daily basis by meditating, visualizing, affirming, etc.  Those are striving practices.

 And then at night they may have a journal writing habit of recounting how the day was good to them.  They appreciate the now.

 I don’t know if it is necessary to check in daily but a week’s worth of time gives you enough material to work with.  A weekend is ideal for practicing gratitude for the prior week’s gifts and then planning for future goals and projects for the week ahead.

 You will find the rhythm that works best for you.  Start with the awareness of incoming gifts and outgoing flow energy for future goals/wants/projects/etc.  Just being aware is sometimes enough to find your balance.