I made a list of things I wanted to do on a recent Saturday. I typo'd my way through my note app to make the following list:
-Tarot reading (for the month?, for the week?)
-Dollhouse room-Research for inspiration
-Writing
-Cross Stitch
This is what I instinctively did, the passionate note nearly already forgotten:
-Start laundry
-Go upstairs and get the next load of laundry
-While upstairs, change into leggings, I'm home now so comfort first
-Refill the thumbtack tin with thumbtacks (what? why?)
-Stare longingly at my label maker....because wasn't there something.....something I should do?
-Empty my trash and recycling bins underneath my work desk
-Contemplate washing the linens, I don't have to, another week won't hurt per se, but wouldn't it feel much better tonight? But is the payoff worth the price of not doing the list of things I typed out earlier? Decide against it.
-Stare searchingly into bathroom...is there anything....anything I forgot?
-Come downstairs
-Start new load of laundry.
-Take out garbage/recycling I brought down
-Make a nest on the couch to do creative activities at
-Start mindlessly eating gummy bears even though I quit them successfully for four days (what can I say? Life got stressful and emotional and I'm an emotional gummy bear eater.) -Pick up phone & open PokemonGo
-Catch myself, stop, and begin writing
I am ADHD which I'm sure you've guessed. I've always been like this, firing on all cylinders or day-dreamy and scattered. And sometimes, just for fun, I am all of it at once. Which overwhelms and stresses me. It's great fun.
While I'm naturally scattered, I've noticed since the beginning of quarantine and telework it has only worsened and not just for myself, even as things begin to normalize.
If you are fortunate enough to say that the 2020 pandemic, while stressful and upsetting for all, largely left you unscathed (that is to say, still employed, alive, and having suffered no loss of relatives) you still likely felt the tension mounting and the scatter starting as you attempted to mesh both work and home. Many of us found ourselves working for the benefit of our home while from our actual homes. Pre-pandemic this was thought to be the ideal working situation for many. We have since learned that WFH or teleworking has its own blessings and bumps, just like everything else.
Three months into quarantine people were joking about wearing pajamas all day, or the same shirt several days in a row, or not showering daily. And as the pandemic rolled from summer to fall and then winter, we have found ourselves missing colleagues, even the annoying ones, and wondering if what we're basically fighting for, in normal everyday life, is a home and a family then why aren’t we happier? For many, a lethargy took hold while usage of the word “languish” rose in popular culture. “Flourish or languish,” they said.
Now, with vaccination rates climbing and Coronavirus cases lessening, we are looking to begin life with a new template, yet again.
It’s been heavy folks, and even as it improves, it changes. And that’s hard.
So I don't think it is any wonder that we are all the more scattered even while things start to normalize or transition into the "new normal." Becoming fluid in the work and home categories of our lives jostled the other life categories as well. And it will be necessary to re-tool those processes as well.
Be patient with yourself, with others. Keep your expectations for yourself sane. Be gracious in times of confusion, with yourself and with others.
There is no guide to returning to life post-pandemic. Maybe someday. But today we just have best management practices and the first one is self-compassion. We will figure out our new routines and processes, options for work and play. And we’re going to fall down and forget some things. This isn’t the time to chastise yourself. That won’t be helpful, if ever it was, but is especially unhelpful for these times. Breathe. Fix what you can, apologize if applicable, but don’t beat yourself up. We’ll get this, in time.
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